The Guilt I Didn’t Expect After Having Two

I never felt like a bad mom... until I had my second baby.

Not because I am one — but because for the first time, I physically couldn’t give my firstborn the same attention I always had.
And that realization hit hard.

The early postpartum days were especially rough — filled with all the emotions and changes.
My baby needed me in that all-consuming, newborn way. And my toddler? He still needed me too.
But differently. Quietly. Emotionally.

Even now, seven months in, I feel the tension of being pulled in two directions — of wanting to be fully present for both of my kids and not always being able to.

And somewhere along the way, I started leaning on my firstborn more than I realized.
He was only two and a half, but I found myself saying, “You know better,” or asking him to be patient or to help me when I was overwhelmed.

But here’s the truth:
He doesn’t always know better.
He’s just two.

I forgot that he was going through the biggest transition of all — learning to share his parents, his home, his time, and his world with a brand-new baby sister.

He needed gentleness too.
And for that, the guilt sometimes stings.

This season is full of love — but it’s also full of stretching.
And if you’ve ever felt that same guilt creep in… you’re not alone. I’m with you.